We are pleased to announce that you have passed the Selection Process and will be taking part in the upcoming season of DEATHMATCH ISLAND.

You may not remember applying. This is normal. It is important that you do not panic, or serious injury may occur (production is not held responsible in such events).

Some frequently asked questions are below.

Who are you? What is Deathmatch Island?
Production is committed to be open and transparent! XXXXX the less you xxxxx. In 1967, XXXXX XXXX XXXX your parents XXXXX XXX XXXX XXXXXX XXXX certain death.

I don't want any part of this.
Not applicable - please resubmit as a question.

How do I prepare?
You have been selected because we believe in your ability, we have confidence in your skills, knowledge and experience. Just believe in yourself. You can do it. Play to Win.

What happens next?
No need to worry; the Recruitment Process has commenced. We repeat: DO NOT PANIC.

For peace of mind, we can tell you that the Selection and Recruitment Process will be completed on this date:
XXXXXXX [REDACTED FOR YOUR BENEFIT]

You're excited to begin.

So are we.

Production.

Welcome to 13th-century England! You are monks in the service of the LORD. Praise the LORD! The LORD is your friend! After toiling away for years as Red sanctity novices, you have finally achieved the Orange habits of monks. But all is not rosy! Heretics, schismatic sects and Satanists are everywhere!

Especially, it seems, France. That benighted land is a nest of heterodoxy, apostasy and impiety. Fortunately, the LORD has revealed to your archbishop the source of the taint, and has commanded that you be sent to burn it out with fire and the holy word. Praise the LORD!

Just three small details of which the LORD was presumably unaware. One, you’re a secret heretic. Two, you’re a secret schismatic. Three, you’re a secret Satanist. And since your fellow monks are all fired up against heretical schismatic Satanists, if any of them find out, it’s the pyre for you… unless you can put them to the torch first.

So remember: stay alert! Trust nobody! And keep your kindling handy!